"Is the plane meant to tip this much?"
It's a good question. You haven't been on a plane for several years, and you find yourself struggling to remember. Last time, you recollect, you'd had substantially more sleep during the flight and substantially fewer crayons lost in and around your chair. Coming on holiday with your best friend Flora had seemed like a great idea when she'd suggested it, and you'd jumped at the chance. You didn't really stop and consider the fact that these days she had two pre-school children.
However, as it had been neither Jeremy or Michella pestering you with the question about the angle at which your plane was coming in to land, and especially as the question didn't begin with the word "why," you feel that you should probably respond.
"Oh, yeah, it's fine. I've done this loads of times. I thought the same thing at first... but this is coMPLETELy normal."
You're not a big fan of raising your voice most of the time, but when it's a choice between raising your voice or not getting the end of your sentence out because of several tyres screeching as they hit a runway, it's an easy decision.
Flora and her offspring are no less excitable during the 20 minute transfer from the airport to your hotel on peaceful, tropical Summer Island. At times the bus lurches and veers so much you feel as though you're back in the air. And along some of the island's less-well-kept streets, you'd have been right. You half expect Flora to return to asking whether the angles at which your vehicle is tipping are safe and this time you don't think you could reassure her with the same look of conviction.
By the time you arrive at the hotel, you're exhausted, and you're in two minds as to whether you should make the most of the remaining few hours of the day and head to the beach with the three others or whether to make the most of the hotel room you've been allocated.
You decide to head to the beach.
Tourism for Dummies
"I could do with a relaxing walk down the beach." you think to yourself. "I need to clear my head after that terrible journey."
At least, it would have been relaxing, were it not for Jeremy and Michella running around screaming.
"Mummy I'm bored!"
"Mummy can we go home yet?"
In a desperate bid to keep yourself from turning insane, you decide to look around for something interesting. A small green crab catches your eye.
"Look at this!" you shout, picking the crab up. It pinches you. Hard.
"Ow! Why you little...." you shout.
"Look over there!" Flora points her children over to a large crowd assembling on the beach, as so to divert them away from the violence concerning you and the crab.
You all walk over to the crowd. In the middle an important looking man is standing on a stage.
"I am the mayor of Summer Island," he shouts, "and I would like to welcome all of you here. As you can see, the island has been restored to it's former glory after the nuclear testing that occured 50 years ago. This unique circumstance means that we have a large variety of unusual animals located in Summer Island Zoo. This can be found in the town to the West. Also in the town you will find the local casino, kindly run by our local crime syndicate. I would like to take this oppertunity to thank them. Keep up the good work."
"Our other major tourist attraction is the volcano you can see to your East. This volcano has not errupted in over 250 years, so that obviously means that it's now dormant, right? Right. Don't worry folks, there is nothing to fear."
"Oh, and before I forget, please do not feed the wildlife. We have over 364 different species of green crab here on Summer Island but one of them is poisonous. But don't worry, as this species is very rare. Still, if you think you are in danger, our resident witch doctor who lives at the base of the volcano can sort you out."
"Oh dear," says Flora, "Mabye you should go and see if you've been poisoned."
"Don't worry, the chance of that happening is so rare, there's nothing to worry about." You tell her. "So guys, where should we go next?"
You decide to go to the town in the West.
At the Zoo
To forget the pinching you got from the green crab-thing, and to give the kids a treat, you decide to go to the zoo at the West.
"Yay! The Zoo!" your kids respond when you tell them that you're heading to the West. You're glad to see them being happy again and, for a moment, you forget the pain in your hand.
When you are at the Zoo, you have a wonderful time with the kids. You see Red lions, purple dogs, hairy penguins and the like. One of the Zoo keepers explains that the Zoo has been on the island longer than the nuclear testing base, and that's the reason why these animals are all like this.
Suddenly, you feel weird. And the pain in your hand showed up again, this time hurting more than ever. You think it will go over and continue exploring the Zoo with your kids.
You decide to get sick, then better, and continue your Zoo adventure.
You go to the doctor, where they give you a special serum to be taken three times daily.
According to doctor's orders, you need plenty of bedrest.
"Dang it!" you yell. "What about the vacation?"
You tell Flora about it.
You decide to disobey his orders and continue with the vacation, knowing the kids will scream their heads off.
You disobey his orders, and a secondary infection sets in.
The serum simply can't do its job when you're up and about.
You are sent back to a special hospital back home, and the kids wail like sirens when their vacation is cut short.
Flora brings things over to help you get well. These things do not include her children, which your aching head is very happy about.
You make a full recovery, but your vacation is over.
How about another random story?