It's a good question. You haven't been on a plane for several years, and you find yourself struggling to remember. Last time, you recollect, you'd had substantially more sleep during the flight and substantially fewer crayons lost in and around your chair. Coming on holiday with your best friend Flora had seemed like a great idea when she'd suggested it, and you'd jumped at the chance. You didn't really stop and consider the fact that these days she had two pre-school children.
However, as it had been neither Jeremy or Michella pestering you with the question about the angle at which your plane was coming in to land, and especially as the question didn't begin with the word "why," you feel that you should probably respond.
"Oh, yeah, it's fine. I've done this loads of times. I thought the same thing at first... but this is coMPLETELy normal."
You're not a big fan of raising your voice most of the time, but when it's a choice between raising your voice or not getting the end of your sentence out because of several tyres screeching as they hit a runway, it's an easy decision.
Flora and her offspring are no less excitable during the 20 minute transfer from the airport to your hotel on peaceful, tropical Summer Island. At times the bus lurches and veers so much you feel as though you're back in the air. And along some of the island's less-well-kept streets, you'd have been right. You half expect Flora to return to asking whether the angles at which your vehicle is tipping are safe and this time you don't think you could reassure her with the same look of conviction.
By the time you arrive at the hotel, you're exhausted, and you're in two minds as to whether you should make the most of the remaining few hours of the day and head to the beach with the three others or whether to make the most of the hotel room you've been allocated.
If you want to head to the beach, please turn to page 2.
If you want to get some shut-eye in the hotel for a few hours, please turn to page 3.
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This page was written on 27 Jul 2005 by Tim the Furnish. In case you're interested, here's the page it follows on from.